Gagga ne ra one chahiye, And the moon is the only light

You belong to so many things and Darbhanga is the one, it belong to your father and the long history of struggle of your grandfather in getting family established. How beautiful is watching you arguing, fighting, crying and smiling. The innocence and its value. And you are all the times watching Ra-One,

When the night has come
When the night has come and the land is dark
When the night has come
When the night has come and the land is dark
And the moon is the only light
And the moon is the only light
And the moon is the only light we will see
So darlin’, darlin’

Darling, darling stand by me
Com’n stand by me
Stand by me
Darling, darling stand by me
Com’n stand by me
Stand by me

Concerned about so many things, distance keeping the tides of love and rock solid thoughts making me thinking all the times about the future, keeping you on the traditions of respect and honor and equipping with all necessary educations, which may make you a man, who loves and care and do not fall in the trap of greed, materialism, hate and anger. Love is rare and difficult to maintain. It demands a character hardened with small moral values and invaluable experience gained in course of sacrificing a lot.  Thinking so much, got some kokchees for you, this is how you spell chocolates, and I love it.

There was a Rajdoot bike your grandfather had which was taken back. And not only the bike but many things including his career had what made us to realize a lot about what to do next. I made so many things on my own, learned, earned stood against odds. Not very intelligent but memorized a lot to fill the gaps of learning patterns, racing past all the smart convent guys. Trigonometry was difficult, so was Algebra, however all was in mind, what if not understood well, hard work makes all happen.

Darlin’ darlin’
O rehbaran o mere rehbaran o o tujhse waasta (and the moon is the only light)
Tu manzil hai aur tu hi uss manzil ke aagee ka rasta (when the land is dark)

Realizing the past fuels some more energy to gain momentum. Auditing past reflects some important figure to take advantage of.

When you go when you leave
Then you take a little piece of me with you
There’s a hole in my soul
Cause you take a little piece of me with you

These are random thoughts. The movie is good. We didn’t had the luxury of laptops. My fantasies of He-Man and Sigma serial on Sunday was always on the mercy of electicity power cuts. We in our times were ready to sacrifice happiness and were less demanding. This gave us the gift called “patience”. You may want things to happen flashing on nano-technical scales, but remember, high frequency need extra controls and if not provided may go out of control, be it a machine or your vulnerable desires. Patience is the key of so many problems. A master key, “Patience”, which can unlock any problem.

The ideal non linear equations of advices and moral values. The non-ideal equations of real life. When you will try to solve these equations simultaneously you may not get real roots most of the times. Don’t panic, just stay with it, be patient, uncomplaining, stand on your principles. Qura’n will help if you read and remember to keep a balance between happiness and values.

… You interuupted me, i smiled, he laptop was off again. Gagga ne ra-one chahiye, you asked to make laptop on and start Ra-One movie again.

Singapore after Eid Vacations

This is approximately an hour to get in. the melancholy of emptiness and getting away from loved one is subsiding. I am feeling charge of hitting the monster again. This job is not my choice but my fate. I do not have control on so many things and can’t escape my bread and butter plus the expectations, otherwise am having a deep desire to settle down in Darbhanga.

You are now 2.5+ and Maryam is catching you fast. Both of you have got natural sparks of talents in early age. Your father is a theoretician and he looks the world in a different dimension. Not well digested to many and I develop critics around very easily. I can’t say how much but I miss you all and am dead within; a smile I have to sport so as to be with the people. Struggling to collate and unite the pieces of happiness in a single strand. Can we ensure end to end happiness? Of course not and how can we maximize happiness for our loved ones, if we are at a crossroad of choices? Choices to favor and being blind to one while still loving and ignoring other. This is complex and only experience teaches you the best. This phase of life is a grey part of my life where I am learning to be happy with the people who claim that they love me, however they don’t. They have used me, betrayed me and they expect an artificial treatment of hospitality. How can I make space in thin air?

Checked-in and I am in waiting lounge, luckily got a network port to be in internet. This trip from 10th Aug to 11th Sep was memorable and painful. They should have not done this. If I do not have much money and infrastructure, they should not be in abusive mode. Where did I compromise love? I will better prefer to die with my own complains rather striking any blow to hurt others. With growing age things change and responsibilities calls sacrifice. If we do not answer sacrifices we tend to be selfish. Be it love or hatred. Being selfish in love is much more dangerous. This diabetic ailment has no insulin for cure. I feel much disappointed if a senior does a bad to me, when I should cross the boundary of respect to prove the logic of right and wrong. Let’s wait for a cold bloody terminal, hope things will improve.

Luckily I have made myself myself and I carry no extra baggage of debt. Struggling, moving, uniting, failing and rising again and going on and on. What if they cheated, they challenged my integrity and let time prove my mettle.